why i shouldn't be wasting my time playing games

I've spent the past few weeks devoting my time to absolutely nothing, save the occasional politics paper. Books are good; at least I still remember how to read. I'm in the middle of Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubio, which is about a girl who has Tourette syndrome. There I contemplated drafting a more comprehensive review, but it would seem that I have forgotten all the fine points of writing. What's wrong with me? *scream*
Aside from my sudden agraphia, something else is bothering me. First, I can't recall anything medical (don't give me any credit for remembering "agraphia"), and second, I read something quite disturbing in my genetically-modified foods book. Something about cows treated with recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH) to produce more milk, developing mastitis (an "udder infection") and secreting pus into their milk. I just put milk in my coffee, and I swear I can taste the pus swirling about in big yellow globules, adhering to the sides of this White Castle mug, smacking against my lips as I drink.. uhhhhh.. *vomits* Hey, Cleavon Little and I have the same birthday. Well, I wasn't born in 1939, but it's the same day anyway. Pus is gross.
Tomorrow's my birthday. Send me some cards and flowers and money. My ideal gift would be to meet Ralph Nader and oh, I dunno, jump his bones. Yeah. Heh heh.
My God. I've done nothing but talk about Ralph Nader for the past two weeks. This is NOT cool at all. Help me, please, psychoanalyze me, send a letter to Cosmo, send a letter to your Congressman, send a letter to my Congressman... can't get him out of my head... I hope someone from the Green Party reads this, calls Ralph, and says "Hey, there's some chick in Minnesota who wants to... do stuff with you." Maybe that's not a great idea. He'd be like, "Oh, does she want to take a tour of a slaughterhouse? That would be ideal. Then we can go back to my spartan bachelor's pad and read books for hours, and then I could talk about the WTO and tort reform. I wish more young people were interested in politics." I'd be lucky if I even got that. I'm hopeless and he's single - come on. :P

 
another humorous diversion

If you've a telnet program on your computer, go to InterplexBBS and play Legend of the Red Dragon (LORD). Now. I used to play this about 6 years ago (during the hey-day of BBSs) and that fateful day I couldn't connect to Reptilian's Revenge or SquishyBBS, well, I knew I was in trouble. The other day I got a hankering for LORD, so I found Interplex Domain. Good times. In case you actually do plan on playing, I'm Spader in LORD, Praecox in Darkness, and Fideaux in DogWorld. Boy I'm a loser.
P.S. Lindsey -- thank you for visiting ;)

 
"abortions tickle"

I'm distributing literature advocating some pro-choice senatorial candidate Saturday morning... the same Saturday morning that happens to be the morning of my birthday! Yeah. I've been going around telling people that I'm going to marry Ralph Nader, and they're like, "Ralph who?" The ones who do know who I'm talking about all wish me luck, because they don't know if I'm kidding or not. I don't know if they're kidding either. :P I get to do a presentation about third-party politics and their societal implications in politics tomorrow. Sigler will have an aneurysm when she sees my "Bush and Gore make me want to Ralph!" t-shirt. Haha.

 
going for the green

So... I took the Political Party Matchmaker again, and now I'm apparently a "Green Libertarian" (both were a 60% match). Funny thing, that. In January I thought I was a Repug.. in February, I thought I was a Repug for Choice.. in March, I thought I might be a right-leaning Independent.. In April, I thought I was a hardcore centrist.. In May, I thought I was a Libertarian.. Ok, it's still May, but it would appear as though I am becoming increasingly more leftist. At this rate, will I be a Communist by the end of June? No, I won't, because Communism doesn't work. I figured it all out. I was so proud of myself. See, the proletariat wants to overthrow the bourgeoisie, but when the former rises to power, doesn't it then become the latter? People are too capricious to actually follow through with the tenets of Communism as set forth on paper. Now the former bourgeoisie, which I will denote as "bourgeoisie prime" or "bourgeoisie'," has become the new working class, and the whole idea was for the working class to overthrow the bourgeoisie, but if the bourgeoisie has become the working class, the former working class has become the bourgeoisie, and.. um.. yeah.

 
my favorite muckraker

Yes.
I think I'm a Green.
I want Ralph Nader.........*cough* for President.
Oh God. Is it wrong to be infatuated with someone who is 50 years older than me?

Well, in other news.. 4 of my friends threw me a surprise birthday party last night at CheepSkate. I almost cried because no one has ever done anything like that for me.
Ok, I found what could quite possibly be the coolest Flash game created: Quest for the Presidency -- Build Your Own Candidate. The caricature of John McCain is downright frightening and Al Gore looks like Butthead, but it's an awesome game nevertheless. The only problem is if you don't want to add, say, Gee-Dub's lips to Algore's forehead, there's no way to make them disappear from the screen. You could give Bill Bradley four eyes if you were so inclined (the Bush face with the McCain mouth down and slightly off center reminds me of the Bill Clinton on Conan O'Brien)...

 
*brain liquefies*

I've just spent about 3 hours clicking on pictures at What's Better?... the pictures I've submitted there are Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (naturally, I mean, what'd you expect?), Fireworks accident, Silly Pope, Rubber Uterus Disk, ick, Now Hiring, Mullet spoon boy, and Unhappy Pills. The accident picture is almost in the top 10 for today, which is pretty cool.

Update: The highest the accident picture ever reached for the day was number 3, just behind some naked woman and something equally uninteresting.

 
psa

Well, I noticed that about half of the people who come to this page are looking for an example of an onomatopoeia. So.... as a public service, I will provide you with a compilation of choice onomatopoetic words.
An onomatopoeia is a word that imitates the sound they denote. Some examples include:

• plop
• fizz
• boing
• buzz
• squish
• murmur
• hiss
• tintinnabulate
• snap
• crackle
• pop

About 30% of the people searched for "strep throat penis." Yeah, that's possible. It's pretty gross, but possible. You might want to take a look at eMedicine - Strep Throat (registration occasionally required) or Gall et al., "Pathogen spectrum of urethritis in the man." (what! down with the man! raaawk)

As for "my political orientation," check out 3pc.net's Political Party Matchmaker. It's not as short as the one at self-gov.org, but it gives better results.

 
i want to live in the library

There was a book sale at the library today. I showed up there at 7 this morning to help bring the books out and put them on the table and carts and such. My back hurts like a bitch. Lumbar pain notwithstanding, I did manage to snatch quite a few choice tomes, including The International Encyclopedia of Science and Technology (retail: $49.95, my price: $1), Big Trouble, A Kierkegaard Anthology (finally! damn), and Essays in Existentialism. I'm still waiting to pick up my Nader books that I have on hold, though. Disappointing. I'll have to wait until Monday.

 
warning: speculation

Buh. Did anyone watch "ER" last night? Those little kids have monkeypox. It's soooooo obvious.
Monkeypox is caused by an orthopoxvirus: check.
Monkeypox is clinically identical to smallpox: check.
Monkeypox is caused by the inhalation of airborne droplets: check.
Monkeypox is prevalent in central Africa: check.

The parents, presumably born prior to 1980, were vaccinated for smallpox, another orthopox icky (why they were unaffected). The ages of the boy and girl were 10 and 5, respectively, giving them NO immunity whatsoever. Blah blah blah. I don't care. It's all just speculation anyway.

 
that's g-r-o-s gross


Which Piercing are you?
No I'm not! That's gross. I hate body piercings. Why did I even take this quiz?

 
something is seriously wrong here

Really, there is: I've suddenly taken an interest in politics. What the hell...? I am writing a research paper on third parties for my politics class, but why am I so enamored by this? Maybe it's my thing for Ralph Nader or my reading 600 pages from the textbook in a little less than a day and half, but there's something fascinating about all this. I even found the greatest resource for the politically homeless - 3pc.net's Political Matchmaker quiz. According to my answers, I could take up residence within any of these:

1. Libertarian Party
2. Constitution Party (which, I believe, is NOT synonymous with the Constitutional Action Party, a group of a-holes who think abortion is "an insult to the Author of Life" - and they say religion doesn't play a role in choosing a party! bah)
3. Reform Party
4. Republican Party (I don't go for major parties, so you can't have the URL to this either)
5. Democratic Party (see #4)
6. Green Party
7. Natural Law Party.

Why I am not a Republican: the whole "family values" thing. I don't care much for religion and I am far too strongly pro-choice for this party, but the economic things appeal to me. I favor less immigration (and I did prior to 9/11, so shut up) and less funding for welfare programs (it's their fault - they need to deal with it without a "mommy" government). Republicans are too militant and angry. Like my politics teacher.
Why I am not a Democrat: the whole "liberal" thing. Democrats, overall, strike me as very passive, whiny people who like to please everyone and avoid problems rather than just dealing with them. I am pro-choice and I don't mind gays, but I think most of the Democratic stances on the economy just plain lick balls.

 
we should "freak" on her

Going along with the article that attempts to correlate teen drinking and general misbehavior with body piercing, there's that one about the "vilified" teacher who lifted up skirts at a dance.. you know the story. She claims her career has gone down the crapper for "trying to protect [her] students" and that her actions were not a "choice of underwear issue." How is invading their privacy protecting them? What a fascist. Apparently school dances are now held in darkened gymnasia where "students simulate sex" (excellent use of alliteration, by the way) and Mrs. Rita Wilson, the panty police, wants to prevent "freak" dancing in this "dark frantic environment." At least their bottoms would be covered. Newsflash, Captain Crotch Control: no one goes to school dances! They suck! No one cares! If students are going to simulate sex, they do it in the back of a car or in a bedroom in a house where the parents are "out on business." I'm definitely not pro-thong (I spent my entire childhood trying to prevent my underwear from crawling up my butt, and it turns out that guys think that's hott), I think there's only about 4 people in the world who look good in them, but this is no good. Granted, the First Amendment doesn't function in schools, but there is nothing that favors undressing your students to see if they're wearing "inappropriate" undergarments.
Wilson: "Watch out, she's wearing a thong! She might... she might... arouse someone with that! Watch out!"
Calif. Panty Check Teacher Says She 'Vilified', Yahoo! News, Sat May 11 (I don't know who wrote this headline, which is copied here verbatim from the top of the article, but it looks like whomever did took a course in Ebonics, yo)

 
ego waffles

Take my quiz! Now! It's called Which of Erin's CDs are you?. And then visit the Robot Rock Critic.

I am They Might Be Giants! The best thing to come out of New York in over 20 years. Best known for their eccentric repetoire of infectious tunes and their composition of the score for Malcolm in the Middle, the duo of John and John is melodic, individual, and parent-friendly. Which of Erin's CDs are you?

 
no correlation, you twit

I found an article on Yahoo! that attempts to correlate body piercing with truancy, smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex. Nice try, you fascists. I know tons of people who are pierced in one way or another, and they're no more likely than I AM to do any of the above activities. And who doesn't cut class?

 
i like boys

New website of mine: The World Wide Nigel Hunt (WWNH). Visit if you are named Nigel.

 
hoo-ray for 70s pop

I got my Gilbert O'Sullivan CD yesterday, after much waiting. No one seems to share my enthusiasm. Wonder why.
I won't bog down this post with any song lyrics, so you can thank me for that.

 
"poison-tipped nipples were a perennial favorite"

This is called "being bored off one's ass."

• If you ever need to know what to call someone from Maine, a feller from Utah, or perhaps a Massachusetts native, the United States GPO Style Manual 2000 will provide you with hours of rapturous literary lovin'. I think "Massachusettsan" is a mouthful, though.
  
• My local library has a listing of "Hot Titles," and at the very top is J.K. Rowling's work-in-progress Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. There are currently 1,561 holds, or about 3% of the population of this city.
  
• Today my math teacher said his wife told him that she would "rather give birth than have a headache for a week."
  
• Time for some shameless self promotion... visit luxurious Random's Gate to cavort with the UNIX and eat tasty pudding.
  
• Ooh. Free laminated logs. You get one of these babies and you're set for life.
  

Blah blah blah.

 
like a twinkie filled with no-doz

I can't tell whether I'm awake or not. My eyes are open, I don't feel tired, my intellect is not blunted (not as much as usual, I guess), and I'm full of flan. Not really, but I was this morning. I got 2 hours of sleep last night and I haven't had any decent coffee yet and it's almost 6 PM! What's going on?