bleh

Does anyone know where I can buy a Game Boy Color for cheap? I've looked on eBay, but the lowest is around $17 including s/h. :P

 
vegetarianism and youse

It's day number 4 of my new journey into vegetarianism. I like plants. They taste good. Too bad they're alive.
It all started about 2 or 3 years ago when I refused to eat eggs... then it was milk... then, red meat... and now, chicken and fish. I'm not in this for the whole "prevention of cruelty" thing, but I'm overweight (anyone who has ever seen me can attest to that fact), and meat has just lost its appeal. Why did I eat it in the first place? I was brought up to! When I was little, my dad would take me to McDonald's 3 or 4 times a week, where I would devour a Happy Meal with a cheeseburger. He actually encouraged me to eat meat - he went so far as to claim he was a member of PETA - "People for the Eating of Tasty Animals." *shudder* Hmm.. oh, then there's this whole vegan thing I could never do. I couldn't possibly give up my leather shoes, as ugly as they are. They've held up for more than 2 years without disintegrating or getting smelly like synthetics. I can't give up goose down - it keeps me warm in frickin' Minnesota. And as for silk, is this about "cruelty to worms" or something? I'm totally pro-earthworm, but they don't spin threads. Oh yes, I will NEVER, ever give up honey - in fact, I just ate some that I bought at the Farmer's Market this morning. Mmmm. Honey... Hey, the bees make enough of it, don't they? I've got a tube of honey lip balm in my pocket, honey, beeswax, royal jelly, propolis.. It's sure better than slathering my eating parts with the same garbage you pour into your fuel tank every day. For this, people might call me irrational (my dad alludes to such, in so many words), but I'm anti-automobile (watch out for falling tangents!). I don't even have a driver's license. I hope I never have to get one. We've come so far, human beings, the "superior" creatures on the planet, and this is the best form of transportation we can devise? Give me a break! Carpooling, I suppose, is better than driving everywhere solo, and it's how I do all my traveling. Public transportation is decent (at least in Duluth I get to ride the city bus for free), airplanes are definitely not my preferred mode of transport, and bicycling hurts my ass (never ride a bike in your pajamas.. not only does that sound difficult and awkward, it's rather painful if you ask me. If, for some bizarre reason you do, at least get a really squishy seat, like one from a tractor or a La-Z-Boy). Oh blah blah blah. I'll shut up now.

 
erin + ebay + $200 = fun

Yes, except I've only spent 54 cents so far. Is it wrong to get excited about bidding? There's 12 minutes left on this one item, and I'm really paranoid that someone will bid on it at the last minute and steal it away from me because I have a slow connection. I did that the other 3 times - first with the set of 3 Bill Nye the Science Guy books, then the Gilbert O'Sullivan CD, and then the Ralph Nader trading card. Right, right, no one in their right mind will also bid on those items, but I got all nervous anyway, like when I'm in a car that's coming up too close to the guy in front of us and.. I hope I'm not in this window typing when there's a minute left. What is this? As though I need any more books! I'm 60-odd pages into Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, which is around 547 pages long if memory serves. That'll take me a few more days, and then I've got to read some other things, and ughhhh.. 5 more minutes... arrrr

 
crossroads, anger, stickers

I've got some printable stickers pimping my blog.. if you want them, e-mail me or leave a message after the beep (or click on the comments link, that'd work too). There's Voodoo McPickle, Captain Huge, Cranky Pope, Shrub, and Communist Dutch Boy

When he gets mad, smoke billows from his ears

(this one says "Communist Dutch Boys everywhere agree - spongepaint onomatopoeia is second to none when it comes to bitter harangues, cranky left-wing viewpoints, and the most unhealthy thoughts this side of Congress. Stop by for a little rancor and infatuation today: nrrd.blogspot.com," but it's impossible to read - at least my dad thinks so).
Anyway. I'm getting really sick and tired of the whole "chasing Ralph" thing. I mean, I'm the kind of person who wants immediate gratification in everything I do, and this just isn't cutting it. I can go buy all his books and download all his pictures (I have not done either, thank you very much), but I'm starting to feel like Amy Deveraux of Ralph Nader, Will You Marry Me? fame, and we all know what happened to her (she basically stalked Ralph for 10+ years and when she finally got to meet him and sang her little happy-Earth-joyous-energy song, he was like, "Get the hell away from me" and the security dragged her away.. and then she wrote a book). I guess Ralph's a pretty crabby guy. Can you imagine if I met him? If I didn't faint first, I would have absolutely nothing to say to him because I'd be afraid of sounding stupid (I always feel like that) and you know how g-d self-conscious I am.. *sigh* Well, I suppose it's back to eBay to bid on a cheap copy of Unsafe at Any Speed. :P

 
as promised, something worth reading

It seems that the 9th circuit court of appeals, the "most liberal court in the nation," has responded to the whiny atheist by declaring the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional. Well it's about damned time! Ever hear of a little thing called "separation of church and state"? Since the words "under God" were added to the Pledge in 1954, it has been the most flagrant violation of the Establishment Clause ever! Thomas Jefferson would not approve. Take a look at the First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" - it's right there! I'm really torn between two conflicting viewpoints here - half of me says, "You fool, if you don't want your daughter saying this God-ridden oath, tell her to not say it or to mouth the words or say everything except 'under God,'" but the other half says, "Great, I'm glad someone in this country, a Republican even, has come to his senses and actually told all the Bible-bangers to shove it." I heard this preposterous fluff on Fox News today - there was this creepy-looking little guy who essentially said "Fuck all the minorities who don't believe in my God - the Pledge should be required!" He said, "The term 'under God' is so innocuous, it could refer to God for people of any faith" - what about the people with NO faith, you closed-minded, Priest-loving, pompous ass? What about all the atheists and agnostics who want to be patriotic without the spectre of your unjust Christian God looming over us? I think the Pledge of Allegiance should be a purely optional thing - if you want to say it, go right ahead. If you don't want to say "under God," if you want to use the time more constructively, then so be it! My dogmatic friend Gee-Dub thinks this issue is absurd... but can you blame him? He is a Republican, after all, and it is a lot easier to mindlessly subject oneself to pro-"family values" and pro-Christian propaganda than to actually think. Grr.

 
the biggest lack of interest since election 2000

Well, no, not really. I am asking anyone who reads this to visit www.funtrivia.com, create an account, and play my quizzes that have the rating of "Not Rated." Please. I know this is a really lame thing to ask people, but I want to see "Tough" or "Average" or "Impossible" next to these! No one really cares about Iran or Lebanon or Kierkegaard, I realize, but, but, but... *whine* Maybe later I'll post something worth reading.

 
major linkage

You have to check out this kick-ass game at WeGotCards.com... You're the struggling third-party politician who has to kiss babies and grab campaign contributions to gain popularity among the voters, amidst headline such as "Rabid Furby assaults daycare, 9 dead" and "Strange virus found in voting booth. All voters die"... On the "sleazy senator" level, I won with 261134 votes (Gore, 163680; Bush, 22). Yes, Gee-Dub got 22 votes. And he is "a bit of a dandy."

 
wtf part 2

How the hell does a blog like clitSpit2 get 2848 "I love it!" votes on BlogHop? What a piece of shit. I won't even dignify the author with a link - if you are that desperate to take a look at the low-quality, nonsensical crap that is the LiveJournal of "tung lov," you can first click on the little green smiley face at the bottom of this page, and then on "Best" at the top of the ensuing page. I wonder if the rating has something to do with "Autohits"....... I hate people who cheat. Bastards.
Anyway. As some people might already know, I'm moving to Duluth this fall. I went up there this weekend to scope out my future residence and register for classes. 16 credits all expertly planned out on my Handspring - yeah, shut up. I like Star Trek, too.

Hmm. Hey Cort -- Rodney Lain the Angry Mac Guy shot himself! Aren't you just crushed? :/

Heh - Tony Hawk's wife's name is Erin. Cool stuff. Tony Hawk is hott. But his website sucks.

 
you are all philistines

Hey, all you creeps from BlogHop - you HATE my blog? What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you recognize quality, cogent thinking when you see it? Would you rather have me prattle incessantly on how much I love some shallow boy-band or why it would be "totally cool and oh my gosh" to hook up with a hot guy or three?
It seems you're all too chicken to even post a comment explaining your vehement opposition to the spongepaint. If you have a problem, express it - what does it look like I'm doing right now? Chickenshits! Chickenshits! Lazy, stupid people!
Hey, I think I could write a song about that:
You People Are Chickenshits
To the tune of "Yesterday"

Chickenshit
That's a word for folks like you
Can't voice complaints, 'cause you're afraid
Oh, I think you're just ignorant
Chickenshit
Can't face the fact that mine was tops
Rather than something - "ClitSpit"?
Oh God, you're dumb, what can I say?
Why say my blog is bad
When you've had
Nothing but chickenshit
Yes, chickenshit, that's what you are...

 
frisking Algore

Haha.. Algore got frisked twice last week and was "'more than happy' to cooperate." Looks like someone hasn't been getting any action from good 'ol Tipper..
More: There was a quote on the cartoons page in Newsweek that said something about "standing in line at the airport and seeing Al Gore's unmentionables." Hmm. They sure frisked him good. This incident also reminded me of a song, pilfered from Napster back in the day, called "I Wanna Rape Al Gore."
... "I'm not drunk, and I'm not gay
I can't help if I feel this way ...
Tipper's in front, and I'm in back
Al's bending over - I like it like that" ... this is a terrible song, but download it anyway. :P

 
world is crushed

How could sweet, delicious SLEEP be bad? I'm gonna die! Big deal if I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs - sleeping 12 hours per night'll be the end of me.
And no, Doc Gottlieb, I do not have sleep apnea. There is no underlying condition and there is nothing wrong with my quality of sleep, at least. Ever hear of my little statistical friend called the "confounding variable"? Maybe the people who slept for a long time already had heart disease - you'll notice they oh-so-conveniently left out that information. I think this is some kind of crazy right-wing pro-8-hours-of-sleep-per-night conspiracy.
Sleep is good... mmm... sleep... zzzz...

 
trivialities

Buh. If you get really bored, play some of my quizzes at www.funtrivia.com. Includes such gems as Elementary Quantum Mechanics, Klaus Kinski Trivia, and the effervescent Panoply of Trivia series. Seriously, play them if only to humor me. Please? I promise there aren't any quizzes about Ralphie (yet)..

 
rubber chickens rock my world

I just found what could quite possibly be the greatest picture ever at www.splattereffect.com... this is totally going on the bulletin board in Duluth

 
dangerous infatuation

Sounds like a prospective blog title... and speaking of, I thought I'd relate the origin of the name "spongepaint onomatopoeia." It all started in late 2001, in Ms. Virginia Carstens' Fiction and Poetry Workshop class. If you ever read this, Virgie, I despise you with an all-consuming hatred. Anyway. One of our journal entries that morning was to list as many adjectives and nouns as possible in five minutes. I filled up three columns on one side of the page and got bored since there was about 4 minutes and 30 seconds left, so I began stringing together random words. I had "meaningless blond god," "sponge paint onomatopoeia," "televised dreams," "drowning Lascelles," and "oxygen-breathing ego drool." Novel. I sauntered up to the white board, clutching a rather malodorous dry-erase marker in my right hand, and meticulously scribed my pièce de résistance upon the glossy surface. I thought the phrase seemed euphonious, and it was mine. Forever. MUAHAHAHAHAaha ok, that's enough. I do like the "ego drool," however......
Damn these posts are getting long. Well, as long as I have my readership of one, it's all right. Right?
If you've perused the other drivel on this page, you'll see that I heart Ralph. But why? What about his tired eyes, his greying hair, his timeworn visage, attracts me so? He is the dark, Middle-Eastern type I go for.... but he is almost 4 times as old as me. I have a copy of the Ralph Nader Reader that I unfortunately have to return the the library in a week or so, and it's lying on the floor beside my bed. That's sick, don't even think that. God, I know your type. It's just that.. I could stare at his picture for hours. And it's not just the physical attraction here - this guy is damn smart (slow reading, but damn smart). He did go to Harvard, though.. that's no good. I don't think he liked it there. Jesus Christ - someone buy me this book before I go crazy!
STOP ME! AHHHHHHH!

 
our senior prank was burning down the library

Hey, Lindsey, thanks for the job offer... I'll look into it.
Anyway, I keep seeing these articles about senior pranks - when are these kids going to learn? I just can't see how some people get off

Is this a student from Central Falls?

spreading manure on the floor and lockers, setting white mice free to roam the hallways, and bustin' down the walls (see Prank sours high school graduation, Pawtucket Times, 11 Jun 2002). The students are outraged that they might get a "diploma case without a diploma in it," but what do they expect? You can't spread wanton destruction and feces around your alma mater and not expect some kind of repercussion. The trio of valedictorians is going to be stripped of that "privilege" and the fine, upstanding students of Central Falls who participated in the "prank" are getting kicked out of National Honor Society (like it's some big fucking deal to be in it in the first place). There's 4 students in NHS. That's pathetic... or honest, because my half of my senior class was in it.
Lil' Sandy Restrepo sez "We worked too hard for four years to get a blank diploma" - if you dumbshits are so gd brilliant, why did you do this? You worked for four years just to fuck everything up a few days before you graduate? Suck it up and pay for the ridiculously stupid things you've done now, ya bastahds.

 
bleh

I need a job.

 
awake at 6 pm. bruises on hand.

As you might be able to tell from Lindsey's ecstatic comment on the previous post, we gradyated. The valedictorian's (there were two of them) speech was so full of shit - they copied the whole thing off the internet. It had the parents practically rolling in the aisles with laughter, though. I think the part that really got me was when the choir got up there and sang some tune with unintelligible lyrics. I remembered when I was in choir in freshman year, and I sang so low that the teacher threatened to kick me out. Well, she's gone now and the choir room is now used to teach psychology. But I could not believe how incredible the choir sounded - actually, it really just sounded like Peter and Missy, the two most vocal people in the entire district. When we lined up to traipse across stage and receive our diploma (which was a leather-bound diptych with a picture of the school as it was in 1952, prior to the evil years of construction, and a copy of the Desiderata, attributed to the wrong guy), I was afraid I'd trip and break my teeth or something like that. Delo, the announcer-guy, mispronounced my name, which was more embarrassing than any stumble - it's not that difficult to pronounce! Look at the g-d surname before you say it! I wrote the phonetic pronunciation on the card! Grr. Anyway, I clambered down from the stage and went back to my seat, watched everyone else walk across and have their name pronounced correctly, and after the ceremony was over, I walked around looking for friends. I found Mike, who was desperately searching for his mortarboard, and after helping him look for it (to no avail, but he did take about 32 tassels) went outside to board the buses to the "senior party." What a sham. We went to the Mall of America and stayed there, locked within the confines of Camp Snoopy, until 6 AM. I spent the whole night walking around, playing arcade games, and getting sick on rides, with my ex-boyfriend Alex, my friend of 13 years James, the mortarboardless Mike, and his friend Chris. Apparently James doesn't like me anymore because of a Spanish project from last year. Well BOO HOO - you passed the class, didn't you? Stop whining. Oh, and Alex is evidently "still interested" in me though I know he's just using me to get back at Karen, some theater girl he messed around with a few months ago. Hey, pal, we broke up 2 years ago - you've "had feelings for me" that whole time? Give me a break. Can we say "rebound"? Jeez... can he tell I've been single the whole time? God I'm pathetic. Anyway, I got home at 6:30 AM with my duffel bag full of goodies (my door-prize was a bag of makeup, which is ironic because I don't wear any... makes me wonder how they chose who got what prize - Alex and James, two tech-savvy guys, got a gift cert to Best Buy and a printer, respectively, and Mike got a box of office supplies.. some of my other friends got DVDs when they don't even have a DVD player, and some lucky person unknown to me got a laptop computer.. like anyone in this godforsaken city needs something more to add to their collection) and fell asleep. I didn't get up until about 6 PM, and I realized I had a hugenormous emerald and lavendar bruise on the back of my hand, that hurt like a sombitch. Ok, well, this post is getting awfully long and I have to go thaw out some meat. It's not for me.

 
birthday fun

Yeah. Yesterday was my birthday. I woke up at 7:30 AM, drove out to St. Paul with Andrew, got lost numerous times en route, got to the picnic shelter 20 minutes late, got about 10 pounds of literature pimping some guy named Chuck who wants to be our senator, and got lost some more. Got attacked by some chickens and nearly died of heat exhaustion (not really, but I was close). Came home, wasted time playing LORD and other such games, and went out to eat. What a worthless day. Anyway, check out the Birthday Web to wish other people a happy b-day.